To say that the start of 2020 was a bumpy ride is an understatement for many of us.
I personally went through a very deep and intense recalibration of not only my physical body, but my mind and spirit as well. I experienced intense bouts of exhaustion, my nervous system seemed completely out of whack and my thoughts went from dark to light in what seemed like an instant and my body was experiencing anxiety attack symptoms while my mind felt clear. None of these symptoms were familiar to me and as a Type 1 Diabetic of 32 years, my innate reaction was to try and control what was happening.
Sometimes when we go through an immense shift in life, our physical body will react. It will force us to slow down, to go inside and to rest. Really rest. I had spent the last decade or longer working hard and playing hard. Meditating, practicing yoga, committing to my daily practices but I was not truly resting. I was not restoring and I was certainly not relaxing in the way my body needed to.
As soon as these experiences entered my field I made a subconscious choice to give up alcohol, dairy, and most animal protein. I started going to bed around 9:30pm each night and spent at least 2 hours outside in nature every day. I began stimulating my vagus nerve with cool fresh air and cold showers (last 10 seconds is all I can stand). I took 2 weeks to myself to heal. I read, relaxed and dove deeper into my Yoga Nidra and Meditation practices. I was definitely resting and I was certainly relaxing and recalibrating every inch of my system and every cell in my body.
Through all of this I realized I was experiencing exactly what I wanted to inspire and assist people with in their lives, but I had not experienced some of these symptoms before. I was having so many aha moments through this process that I journaled an entire notebook, healed skin issues, lost 15 pounds and had the best blood work results of my life. I also learned how to let go, how to allow space for myself and how to fully and deeply relax.
Sometimes, we truly have to practice what we preach. It might hit us hard - like this did - and force us into a space of peace, nourishment and true self care. It might tip us off course to experience something that we need to learn, embody and move through for a greater purpose, maybe even our soul’s path.
Recalibration can seem scary. I asked “why” so many times that it’s something I’ve taken out of my vocabulary for the next little while (new blog post to come). Sometimes we aren’t meant to know why something is happening, but we are meant to feel it, acknowledge it and move through it. The process can seem daunting, difficult and strange - but it’s always for the greater good of our soul.
This process of recalibration has truly been my saving grace. What seemed like the darkest times (health wise for me) truly grew the most magnificent light. I felt like a lotus flower, growing out of the mud slowly, expanding her petals (or wings) and blossoming into something beautiful, full of peace, healing and love.
So February is a new beginning for me. A chance to focus on my healing, my creativity and my soul’s path. Did I get off course? No. I believe this allowed me to experience exactly what I needed to through the magic of recalibration of my mind, body and spirit.
The forest in winter is infinite with contrast,
it sheds light in places we otherwise might not see.
The snow, against the bark of the trees, sparkles,
and allows the natural landscape of the branches to shine.
I see our bodies as the trees rooted deep into the earth,
recognizing the chiaroscuro of our soul in the realm of nature.
Kate Carson
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In love, light + peace.
